Nearly everyone on this beautiful blue planet lives in some form of relationship. And most of the time it all seems to work out reasonably well. But for an awful lot of people, things can go seriously pear-shaped and its then that the blame game begins!
So here's my suggestion: when you sign your marriage contract, nuptial - whatever it is that gets signed these days to make sure you pay your taxes on time - make sure that you add in that you both agree to attend relationship counselling at least once a year!
Believe me, no-one is born with the natural skill set that allows you to effortlessly cohabit with a partner, let alone adding in a brood of young humans with no knowledge of what a "boundary" is. From many years of experience, I can honestly say that the addition of these little people will completely alter the dynamics in even the most healthy of relationships.
At whatever stage you are in life, relationship skills are vital to the normal functioning of humanity, but sadly they don't come embedded in our genes and we can't suckle them from our mothers milk either. The plain truth of it all is that we need to be taught them. For my fellow males, I will repeat that last sentence -
WE NEED TO BE TAUGHT THEM.
In times past there were wise people in the village to whom young people would go to seek advice. Modern man (woman) retreats into electronic isolation and seeks justification for their own beliefs instead of wanting to listen to the other side of the story.
Thankfully there are tens of thousands of well qualified counsellors in the world who have the combined knowledge of generations which they can apply to nearly every situation. Take advantage of them.
I often say to patients that anyone can hit a tennis ball against the wall but if you want to improve your game then you need some lessons - you need to employ a coach. Relationships are just the same: so PLEASE, for the sake of your other half, for the sanity of your children, PLEASE consider getting a relationship coach. It will change your life ... game, set and match!
Categories: relationships, counselling, marriage, coaching